Etz Chayim's Basic Bar/t Mitzvah Service Attendance Expectation

Since you have decided to celebrate your Bar/t Mitzvah in a Shabbat Service in a congregation

we believe that the best way to learn what to do, and to acclimatize yourself and your family to what happens,is to learn by doing.

We, parents who have grown as Jews through the Bar/t Mitzvah of our daughters and sons,

will help you and your family to learn how to sing and when stand and how to understand the service your child will be leading.

Therefore, we created this service attendance journal as a way to record the things you see and hear and think about

as you and your family journey through our congregation's services, and those of other congregations.

It is called a JOURNAL for it is supposed to be like a diary of service experiences.

You may start using it any time you and your child wish to begin.

If your family has been attending services of any kind on some regular basis,

you and your children are already familiar with the whole service. In this case, their learning to lead the service will be easy.

BUT, famiies who are only now beginning to attend morning services will need to catch up. We believe that in order for your family to become familiar enough with our services, the minimum number of services for your children and you to attend is 18 (i.e., one per month), at least starting 18 months before starting to study Torah with the Rabbi, which begins somewhere from two and a half up to four months before the actual Bar/t Mitzvah date.

Here are the services you may write about, and what you may "count" toward your goal of familiarization with the service:

• At least half of these services should be a Shabbat morning service, which is the service the student will lead.
• At least half of them need to be at Etz Chayim, whose customs they need to be comfortable leading.
• Any Shabbat or Festival service they attend in any congregation or Jewish camp anywhere counts toward this total, EXCEPT
  • High Holy Day services do not "count" toward the total of 18. But students should attend them, and write their impressons of them
• AND, you must continue to attend services at the same pace during the time the student is studying with the rabbi.

In addition to the above 18 services, a student needs to attend AT LEAST ONE SHIVA MINYAN which is (usually) a short evening service, held in the home of a mourner so that they may say kaddish for their loved one without having to go out into the world during the first seven ("Shiva") intense days of mourning. This is designed for you and your daughters and sons to learn that it is not only a mitzvah for those who know the family to attend, but a congregational duty to help make a minyan for Kaddish; and to have an idea of how adult Jews mourn our dead.

Also, the student and at least one parent must attend at least ONE SHABBAT MORNING TORAH STUDY (9-10AM), to introduce this to the family, and to show the student that adults actually do this for fun.

We review these service journals at significant points in the student's Bar/t Mitzvah training,

that we might see what the students are learning from their experiences. So please bring them to:

The parent orientations

The initial Bar/t Mitzvah Family Class

The Second Family Class on the Siddur

The First of the Student's Torah Study Sessions with the Rabbi

Now, go to the page with instructions on how to use the Service Journal, from which you can also download a copy: